Talks about otome games, drama cds, and occasionally provides advice? Running away endlessly from my backlog of hobbies.

Ilinox

A famous fortune teller told my mom she would have a son and daughter, the son would become a doctor and the daughter would become a judge LOL. I'm just following my predestined road—I'm kidding. Also, I don't mind mentioning my depression, otherwise I wouldn't casually bring it up everywhere, haha.

First, I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. It's rare for people to know exactly what they want to do and, in my opinion, a lot of people are also feeling things out as they get through life. Second, you can always start over or switch to something else that catches your interest. While there are practical considerations, such as money and time spent, I don't think those should be viewed as a "waste" because you're gaining knowledge either way and now you've crossed out something you don't want to do.

Third, this is going to sound very obvious and dumb, but I'm still going to say it—there are a lot of jobs out there. What I mean by this is that you think you know general job positions, like there are receptionists, assistants, managers, and then experts and executives, but there are actually so, so, so many positions in each field and it doesn't really hit you until you start working in that field yourself. Just look at this list (ignore the money)! If possible, I would suggest short stints where you try to get into an industry as a receptionist or assistant. You'll get to see the people doing that work and get an idea of whether or not you want to pursue it further. Or if you feel even the slightest blip of interest in something, consider if you can explore it deeper. You like reading? Well, there's careers like literary agents, archivists, copywriters, translators, analysts, librarians, etc.

Fourth, your passion doesn't have to be your job and vice versa though! Your job can literally just be something that supports you and that you tolerate so that you can do your reading and sleeping in peace. I neither love nor hate my job and it does its job (heh) for me because I don't need to take work home after I'm done for the day and network to advance. It supports me so that I can invest time into my hobbies and interests.

Lastly, surviving to adulthood shouldn't be something people look down on just because you don't have something like a 5-year or 10-year plan. Would it be nice? Sure, I guess. However, other people aren't living your life, you are living your life and so you ultimately decide what goes. Sometimes life really is just about finding small things in the near future that excite you and make you happy, so that you can live to that point and then search for the next thing, and then rinse, wash, repeat until you turn old and die. (If looking forward to Light and Night's banners has partially kept me alive for the past 4 years, who would know but me? LOL.)

I know everything around you must feel urgent and pressing right now, and at your age there's probably extreme comparisons on both ends with people being successful and people crashing out. I really do want to get across to you though that no one knows what they're doing LOL. We're all living our first (and only) life on this world and there's no right or wrong answer.

A famous fortune teller told my mom she would have a son and daughter, the son would become a doctor and the daughter would become a judge LOL. I'm just following my predestined road—I'm kidding. Also, I don't mind mentioning my depression, otherwise I wouldn't casually bring it up everywhere, haha.

First, I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. It's rare for people to know exactly what they want to do and, in my opinion, a lot of people are also feeling things out as they get through life. Second, you can 

 start over or switch to something else that catches your interest. While there are practical considerations, such as money and time spent, I don't think those should be viewed as a "waste" because you're gaining knowledge either way and now you've crossed out something you 

Third, this is going to sound very obvious and dumb, but I'm still going to say it—

. What I mean by this is that you think you know general job positions, like there are receptionists, assistants, managers, and then experts and executives, but there are actually so, so, so many positions in each field and it doesn't really hit you until you start working in that field yourself. 

 (ignore the money)! If possible, I would suggest short stints where you try to get into an industry as a receptionist or assistant. You'll get to see the people doing that work and get an idea of whether or not you want to pursue it further. Or if you feel even the slightest blip of interest in something, consider if you can explore it deeper. You like reading? Well, there's careers like literary agents, archivists, copywriters, translators, analysts, librarians, etc.

Fourth, your passion doesn't have to be your job and vice versa though! Your job can literally just be something that supports you and that you tolerate so that you can do your reading and sleeping in peace. I neither love nor hate my job and it does its job (heh) for me because I don't need to take work home after I'm done for the day and network to advance. It supports me so that I can invest time into my hobbies and interests.

Lastly, surviving to adulthood shouldn't be something people look down on just because you don't have something like a 5-year or 10-year plan. Would it be nice? Sure, I guess. However, other people aren't living your life, 

 are living your life and so you ultimately decide what goes. Sometimes life really is just about finding small things in the near future that excite you and make you happy, so that you can live to that point and then search for the next thing, and then rinse, wash, repeat until you turn old and die. (If looking forward to Light and Night's banners has partially kept me alive for the past 4 years, who would know but me? LOL.)

I know everything around you must feel urgent and pressing right now, and at your age there's probably extreme comparisons on both ends with people being successful and people crashing out. I really do want to get across to you though that no one knows what they're doing LOL. We're all living our first (and only) life on this world and there's no right or wrong answer.

You've talked about your depression in the past (really sorry if you don't wanna get into this/my trauma-dumping(?)) and I've felt rather aimless since I was in middle school. Like, I was the kid who couldn't imagine me as an adult, I kind of figured that I wouldn't reach adulthood, not even out of any external influences but I just couldn't imagine myself in the future. Nothing really interests me as a career. If I could, I would spend all day in my bedroom reading and sleeping. Sometimes I think about how I'm a failure and get anxiety attacks about wtf I'm doing because I was supposed to be in college this year but I took a year off because there's no point in wasting money on a major that I don't even know. I was always just riding the flow, but now that I'm legally an adult I don't know what to fucking do. This is pretty pathetic lmao 

Ilinox

How did you decide on your career?